BDSM Punishment Ideas: 12 Playful Punishments for Beginners

In BDSM, a punishment isn't a real punishment. It's part of the game, and you both know it might come. The sub messes up a task, the dom punishes, and that's what gives the next task its stakes. Let's be honest, sometimes that's the best part. We've collected 12 BDSM punishment ideas for beginner couples. Some don't hurt at all, and some sting a little.

What makes a good punishment?

• It's proportionate. A botched one-minute task doesn't earn a twenty-minute punishment.
• It's agreed in advance. The sub only gets something they agreed to beforehand. The surprise is which punishment comes. Not what's on the table.
• It's short, and it ends. Get it done, and the game goes on.
• There's no real anger behind it. The dom isn't actually mad, and the sub isn't truly ashamed. If one of you really feels bad, stop.

No pain: discipline punishments

The classic beginner punishments. They don't hurt, but they're uncomfortable and a bit humiliating. That's exactly the point. Picture five minutes standing perfectly still in the corner while your partner paces behind you.

Punishment

In the corner

Stand in the corner, nose to the wall, hands behind your back. Stand still until time runs out.

Punishment

On tiptoe

Stand on tiptoe, arms above your head, until time runs out. If your heels or arms drop, the time starts over.

Punishment

Hold it at arm’s length

Hold what the die rolled at arm’s length until time runs out. If you drop it or lower your arms, the time starts over.

Punishment

Ice cube in your mouth

I put an ice cube in your mouth. No chewing, no spitting it out, until it has melted completely.

With words

These punishments are built on verbal humiliation. Only pick them if you're both into it. In the game, this is a separate limit, and you can switch it off.

Punishment

Say it out loud

Kneel and say the sentence the die rolled out loud, as many times as it rolled. If you get stuck or slip up, start over.

Punishment

Apologize

Kneel in front of me and apologize – sincerely and in detail, until time runs out.

Punishment

Writing on your body

With lipstick or a marker, I write the word the die rolled on your body, where it rolled. It stays there until the game ends.

With a little pain

If a bit of pain is okay, start with these. Go slow, and watch how your partner reacts. Aim only for the fleshy parts of the back, thighs and butt. Skip the spine, the kidney area and the joints.

Punishment

Scratching

Lie on your stomach. I drag my nails down your back, slowly and firmly – as many times as the die rolled.

Punishment

Led by the hair

I grab your hair at the nape and, until time runs out, lead and hold you by it wherever I want. You have to follow.

Punishment

Rubber band

I put a rubber band on you where the die rolled, then stretch it and let it snap – as many times as it rolled.

With gear, at level 2

Massage candles and clothespins. Both are cheap, and both hit a lot harder. A massage candle melts at a lower temperature, so you can drip it right onto the skin.

Punishment

Hot wax

Lie down. I drip wax from a massage candle on you where the die rolled. Until time runs out, you can’t move.

Punishment

Sweeping off the pegs

I clip as many clothespins on you as the die rolled, where it rolled. Then I sweep them off you in one motion.

Where do punishments come from, and can you get out of one?

A punishment is due when the sub messes up a task. You'll find task ideas in the submissive tasks for beginner couples article.

And yes, you can get out of one. The sub can ask for a short rescue task instead. Or they can cash in a lifeline, if they earned one earlier as a reward. The article on rewards covers that. Every card in the deck is in one place.

Kinky Date Night only draws punishments that fit your limits, and that you have the gear for.