Rewards for Subs: 10 Reward Ideas After a Task Well Done

If you're just getting into BDSM, you're probably hung up on punishments. But rewards matter at least as much. Think about it: if your sub nails a task and nothing happens, what keeps them motivated next time? Exactly. We've collected 10 reward ideas from the Kinky Date Night deck. Some are a kind word or a hug, and some are a lot hotter.

Why do rewards matter in BDSM?

• Balance. If there's only punishment, the game gets tiring fast. Rewards make the effort worth it.
• Safety. Praise or a hug reminds the sub that behind the roles, it's still you, their partner.
• Feedback. As the dom, this is how you learn what makes your partner melt. Watch which reward makes their eyes light up.

Words and hugs

The simplest rewards, and often the ones that hit hardest. A "good job" in the right tone is worth more than you'd think. No gear needed, and they can come at any time.

Reward

Praise

Until time runs out, I tell you what I adore about you. You can’t interrupt – just listen.

Reward

Hug and a forehead kiss

I hug you tight and kiss your forehead. You did well.

Reward

Head in my lap

Rest your head in my lap. I stroke your hair until time runs out.

Reward

Naked cuddle

We cuddle naked, skin on skin, until time runs out. Nothing else.

Pampering

Here the tables turn: now the dom serves the sub. Feeding them by hand, rubbing their feet, scratching them like a spoiled kitten. Great in the middle of the night, when the sub has been obeying for a while.

Reward

Hand-feeding

Kneel, close your eyes and open your mouth. I feed you something tasty by hand, e.g. strawberries, chocolate or whipped cream.

Reward

Foot massage

Lie down. I massage your soles and toes until time runs out.

Reward

Good dog

Good dog! I scratch you behind the ears and on your belly and praise you until time runs out.

Level 2: hotter rewards

Once the night has heated up, the reward can get naughtier too. These cards show up from level 2. Slow oral, or the dom's hands exactly where the sub wants them most.

Reward

Slow oral

Lie on your back. I lick/suck you slowly: first my breath, then my lips, finally my tongue. Until time runs out, just enjoy.

Reward

Use my hand

Take my hand and use it on yourself the way you like until time runs out. Show me what you like.

The lifeline

This one's our favorite. The sub doesn't use it right away, but saves it. Later they can use it once to get out of a punishment, or out of an active effect, like hands tied behind the back. That gives the tasks longer-term stakes too. The sub knows it really pays to be good now.

Reward

Lifeline

You got a lifeline! Use it once to get out of a punishment or an active effect for free.

Task, punishment, reward

A reward follows a successful task. If you need ideas for what to ask, check out the submissive tasks for beginner couples article. If the task fails, a punishment comes. The BDSM punishment ideas article covers that. You can browse every card in the deck here.

One more important thing: a reward isn't the same as aftercare. Aftercare comes at the end of the game, for both of you, no matter how anyone did. Water, a blanket, a hug, and a little chat about how it went.